Tuesday, May 20, 2008

You Must Be So Proud...

This past Friday, I took the kids to Liberty, Texas for the Memorial service of their Great Grandmother. We called her Mama Darlin'. She told one of her grandkids, "come to Mama, darlin'" and the kid thought darlin' was part of mama's name. The nickname stuck.

Thursday night before the service, my kids and I enjoyed boiled crabs at the neigher's house. While I was chowing down, my daughter and the neighbor boys decided to make an art project out of my son.
They colored on him from head to toe!
With permanent marker.
It was unbelievable!

I used some witch hazel to get some of the marker off. All it did was tone down the hues marked all over him. It was late for a school night so I decided it was best to finish cleaning up my son in the morning.
I had to work from home and get some stuff done before heading to Liberty. The time got away from me. I used some baby oil to wash the marker off my son and gave him a quick bath. It was a poor clean-up job. I figured his face and arms looked pretty good and the rest of him could be covered with clothes. (I now know that GOO GONE works great at removing permanent marker from skin and isn't irritating)

What I didn't count on was that my Uncle would be picking up my son by his feet and dangle him. My son's shirt slid right down revealing his intricate "tattoos." Well, at least the minister mentioned how much Mama Darlin' loved her arts and crafts. She'd have been tickled pink seeing my son all marked up.

At that point of the day, we were attending a 55th Annual Invitational Golf Tournament and cat fish fry at the local country club. The town of Liberty is quite small-maybe 750 residents-and it seemed like all of them were there. We enjoyed ourselves and the food. The place wasn't stuffy or pretentious, but I still felt a bit out-of-place at a "country club."
My son apparently felt the sudden urge to peepee. He dropped trough down to his ankles. And with a move like something only a Chippendale dancer would do, he grabbed both sides of his diaper, pulled forward, ripped off the diaper, and tossed it away. He then tried to pee on a bush in the middle of the picnic area outside the clubhouse of the "country club." If it hadn't been so funny, I'd have been completely mortified. People were looking at my son and laughing. Some people were trying to take pictures with their cell phones so my protective daughter stood in front of her lil' brother in a sweet attempt to hide his shame.

Well, my son did lighten the mood and put some smiles on some faces. I must be so proud.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Meet & Greet

As I'm running out the door to attend a neighborhood "Meet and Greet,"
my son tells me, "Mama, I got poopoo on my leg."

I hope I don't hear him correctly and ask, "What?"

And then I smell it.

I look down to see that he has pulled off his diaper and had the massive blow-out smeared and streaming down his little legs. Oh, the timing...oh, and the stench!

I grab the container of wipes- though I need a power-washer. I did the best I could with the time I had to clean him up. Then, I realize I need to clean myself up too. I must have scrubbed my hands 10 times-and I mean scrub like I was prepping for open heart surgery.

I just couldn't imagine going to a meet & greet and shaking hands with a bunch of people I'm meeting for the first time all the while smelling like poo.
The "Meet and Greet" was held at a neighbors house in order for the community to meet the local officials running for City office. I knew there would be a lot of hand-shaking, but there was also finger-foods! Luckily, I scrubbed off the first layer of skin so my hands were clean and poo-fragrance free!