Thursday, February 11, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday, February 11, 2010

"I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand.
You felt so good in it; no bigger than a minute.
How it amazes me you're changin' with every blink.
Faster than a flower blooms, they grow up all too soon.

So let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give 'em hope, give them praise,
Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little."

-Billy Dean, Let Them Be Little Lyrics

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Special Delivery Time Line

I learned the hard way to now ALWAYS check my child's backpack for her take-home folder on Friday instead of waiting until Sunday night...

Recently, I didn't check my daughter's take-home folder until late Sunday night when I was preparing her lunch for the next day. Inside I found a sheet of paper describing a social studies project that was due Tuesday morning. We would have had the entire weekend to complete the project had I opened my daughter's backpack on Friday when she returned home from school.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda...

The social studies project my daughter needed to create was a time line of photos depicting her life from birth to present including dates, places and special memories.

I had plenty of pictures from my daughter's birth to about 4-years-old, but very few current pics as most of my photos are online these days. Luckily, she did have some school portraits and even a sketched photo drawing from Chuck E. Cheese!

What I didn't have at the house was poster board-construction paper was too small and flimsy. I searched the garage and recycling for an unused box big enough to cut up for the base of the time line. I found an empty Red Baron pizza box.
It was perfect! My daughter could cut the edges so it opened up like delivery pizza boxes. Plus, it folded up nicely for her to take to school without messing up the pictures.

It turned out pretty good considering the time we had to complete it.

Most importantly, my daughter enjoyed remembering the activities shown in her photos and putting the time line together!

(Next time my daughter needs something of this sort-we'll have more time to paint the box or cover it with colored paper)

Thursday, February 04, 2010

The Return of THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY, Feb. 4, 2010


We all have blind spots
but no holes appear in our visual field.
The brain fills in the spaces with the best guess
as to what might actually be there.
What we see is not really there.
We do the same with our assumptions,
believing we know what people think and feel
without ever asking.

What would happen
if we asked?

-Reprinted from Out-Smarting Your Karma Copyright ©1996 by Barry Neil Kaufman.
All Rights Reserved. Published by Epic Century Publishers.

Remember what ass-u-me means! There are no stupid questions!
I believe assuming is the root cause of the misunderstandings and disagreements I'm involved with. Plus, asking questions is a great way to dialogue with your children!
Asking them and then listening to them gives your kids confidence and allows them to know that you care and that you value their thoughts, opinions and feelings!
This works in all relationships too!

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Belated Happy New Year and such...

Ok, I's been way too long! 2009 has been one of those years and I'm allowing it to seep into 2010- well, no more.

I have much to post about 2009- starting with the separation from my husband.
It's not an easy decision. And not one that I rushed into. I had been married for 11 years. Believe me, I tried to make it work.
Some people question choosing your own happiness over the lives of your children, but you can't look at it that way. If you're not happy, then how is it possible to raise happy children? They follow by example.
I do understand why so many couples stay together for the sake of the children and I myself did not come from a family of divorce. But, I didn't feel it was fair to anyone to continue to "go with the flow." I wanted more and I deserved more. Plus, my kids deserve the best of me.
My kids are young and their dad was often travelling for work so in some aspects they are used to him being gone. For me, even when he was here-he really wasn't. The distance between us had nothing to do with travel.
I had no clue how to approach the subject of divorce with my kids. All I knew is that I had to be honest. I explained to my kids that for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do them-their daddy and I would no longer be living together. My then 6-year-old daughter asked me if it was because we had been fighting. Her question proved yet another point. I didn't want my children experiencing that kind of negative relationship; especially when it was thought to have been expressed safely and quietly behind a closed door. I told my daughter that her daddy and I had tried to stay together and it wasn't working-that I was not happy. She told me she didn't like it and asked to play Wii. My son was 4 years old at the time and he had no response. He immediately went to playing a game with his sister. I still don't think he quite understands what is happening.

In the hopes of making the divorce as uncomplicated and cheap as possible-we agreed on a non-contested divorce. I ordered a non-contested divorce from It was easy to fill out online and only cost $299.99. Unfortunately, living in two different states and not near enough two-way communication-I'm still not divorced. I highly recommend a lawyer if you can afford it or if you can find a lawyer who is willing to waive the retainer fee until the divorce is final. I've sent the final changes of the divorce paperwork to legalzoom and if it's signed and notarized expeditiously-it could finally be over in about 3 months.

I will write more on this subject, legalzoom and the current man in my life!
To be continued...