Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Belated Happy New Year and such...

Ok, I's been way too long! 2009 has been one of those years and I'm allowing it to seep into 2010- well, no more.

I have much to post about 2009- starting with the separation from my husband.
It's not an easy decision. And not one that I rushed into. I had been married for 11 years. Believe me, I tried to make it work.
Some people question choosing your own happiness over the lives of your children, but you can't look at it that way. If you're not happy, then how is it possible to raise happy children? They follow by example.
I do understand why so many couples stay together for the sake of the children and I myself did not come from a family of divorce. But, I didn't feel it was fair to anyone to continue to "go with the flow." I wanted more and I deserved more. Plus, my kids deserve the best of me.
My kids are young and their dad was often travelling for work so in some aspects they are used to him being gone. For me, even when he was here-he really wasn't. The distance between us had nothing to do with travel.
I had no clue how to approach the subject of divorce with my kids. All I knew is that I had to be honest. I explained to my kids that for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do them-their daddy and I would no longer be living together. My then 6-year-old daughter asked me if it was because we had been fighting. Her question proved yet another point. I didn't want my children experiencing that kind of negative relationship; especially when it was thought to have been expressed safely and quietly behind a closed door. I told my daughter that her daddy and I had tried to stay together and it wasn't working-that I was not happy. She told me she didn't like it and asked to play Wii. My son was 4 years old at the time and he had no response. He immediately went to playing a game with his sister. I still don't think he quite understands what is happening.

In the hopes of making the divorce as uncomplicated and cheap as possible-we agreed on a non-contested divorce. I ordered a non-contested divorce from It was easy to fill out online and only cost $299.99. Unfortunately, living in two different states and not near enough two-way communication-I'm still not divorced. I highly recommend a lawyer if you can afford it or if you can find a lawyer who is willing to waive the retainer fee until the divorce is final. I've sent the final changes of the divorce paperwork to legalzoom and if it's signed and notarized expeditiously-it could finally be over in about 3 months.

I will write more on this subject, legalzoom and the current man in my life!
To be continued...

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