Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Sex...or temporary lack there of...

OK, this is a hard one to fess up to, but someone's got to say (or write) something. And please note, this is not true for everyone. We've all heard that sex after children is virtually non-existent. Well, it's not just because you may not feel as sexy or that the kids interrupt intimate time (see photo) or you're too tired. Sex (temporarily) just doesn't feel very good (but it sure felt great during the second trimester-WOW!). I find the unenjoyment especially true while breast feeding. My boobs are extra sensitive and no matter how hard (bad word choice) I try not to let it bother me-it sometimes throws off the mood. Plus, after waiting the 6 weeks post-partum period, sex was still painful for me. I no longer feel sharp pains now, but my insides just ain't the same and sex feels different.
So how do you keep your spouse from feeling inadequate or unattractive during this time-you have to be very honest. And don't give up-keep trying! Currently, I'm hoping this stage is similar to what happened after the birth of my first child. Once I was done breast feeding (a full year), sex felt much better and I enjoyed it again. Maybe too much, obviously I ended up pregnant for a second time!
In any case, though the sex may eventually feel good again-it truly is the last thing on my mind. To keep that part of my relationship with my husband, I've really got to work at clearing my mind and making "us" time. Which of course, begins with finding a babysitter...that's a whole other blog entry!

(Oct 05)UPDATE!! Since I've stopped breastfeeding, the sex has been great again!! Everything is back to normal!!

No comments: